Welcome to Jester's Trek.
I'm your host, Jester. I've been an EVE Online player for about six years. One of my four mains is Ripard Teg, pictured at left. Sadly, I've succumbed to "bittervet" disease, but I'm wandering the New Eden landscape (and from time to time, the MMO landscape) in search of a cure.
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Friday, March 18, 2011

Kill of the Week: Imperial Navy Hauler

This week's Kill of the Week is an instant classic:

I've covered a few of the topics around this kill before, notably in my past blog post The Right Tool, where I talk about the fact that maybe you should use ships for the mission for which they are intended.

However, there's just so much sublime wonderful coming off this kill that it deserves its own blog post.  Let's start with the obvious stuff first.  I suppose it's possible that I'm completely wrong about this, but doesn't this look like a war-dec kill?  Sleipnirs and Legions are not exactly suicide ships.  Which means that this person saw fit to undock in a seven billion ISK ship in the middle of a war-dec.  That takes a special person right there.

But for that seven billion ISK ship to be a cargo-fit battleship takes the special to a whole new level.  ;-)  I'm trying to imagine a ship that gets around more slowly than a cargo-fit Apocalypse.  Maybe a triple-plated Dominix.  Maybe a freighter.  Other than that, though?  Not much.  Even more than this, faction ships attract attention.  A lot of attention.  And a faction battleship leaving Jita is sure to be scanned, looking for dead-space and officer mods.  Even had this person not been killed in a war-dec, they would have been killed in a suicide gank.  It's arguably worth suiciding a Legion and a Sleipnir to kill this ship.  The drop certainly justified such a suicide!

The single worst thing to carry in the cargo hold of a ship leaving Jita are PLEXes.  But the second-worst thing to carry in the cargo hold of a ship leaving Jita are implants, particularly +5 implants like these.  Don't do it.

The third worst thing to carry in the cargo hold of a ship leaving Jita are X-Type or A-Type anything.  This ship had both of those in its cargo hold.  The rest of what's in cargo is forgiveably dumb, if not spectacularly dumb.  Still, those Caldari Navy Ballistic Control Systems are 80 million each.  I've had to carry a few of those out of Jita, but I've always used a Covert Ops ship and an instant undock bookmark to do it.

Let's talk about some more subtle aspects of this fit.  If you insist on running expensive cargo near Jita in a ship with a big tank in an attempt to avoid being griefed through tanking it, please carry a MicroWarpdrive suitable in size to the ship you're in.  The biggest tank in EVE doesn't matter if you can't run back to the nearest stargate.  Shield-tanked Apocs aren't even ridiculously bad, when you have a pair of X-Type mods providing that tank.  This particular ship had 12,000 shield hit-points and 14,000 armor hit-points with decent resists.  With a MicroWarpdrive, or even an Afterburner, such a ship might... might even survive a gate gank attempt long enough to get back to the gate.  This fitting didn't stand any chance at all.  All a ship with no propulsion mod can do in that situation is die slowly.

Finally and extremely subtle: the Navy Apocalypse has a ridiculous amount of power grid, and even double-plated and with a MWD, does not need three Ancillary Current Router rigs.  Those rigs provide thousands more power grid than even the most grid-hungry Navy Apoc could possibly want...

So, all in all, even if this was a war-dec killing, it was a mercy killing.  It would have taken this poor soul forever to get where he was going in his cargo-fit Apocalypse.  And even if he'd made it out of Jita, he wouldn't have made it much farther.  Dead, he didn't have to.  The pilots involved in this kill saved this pilot a lot of time.  ;-)

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