Welcome to Jester's Trek.
I'm your host, Jester. I've been an EVE Online player for about six years. One of my four mains is Ripard Teg, pictured at left. Sadly, I've succumbed to "bittervet" disease, but I'm wandering the New Eden landscape (and from time to time, the MMO landscape) in search of a cure.
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Monday, June 11, 2012

Willing whore to the KOTW

Dearly beloved, we gather here today to pay tribute to the blob.

Sometimes, it's really hard to be part of the blob.  Really!  Stop laughing.  Being a Goon pet is tough sometimes.  I can tell you with some small amount of experience, for instance, that it's hard to get kills when you're in a blob.  There's so much DPS on the field that many ships die before you can even lock them.  I can also tell you that it's difficult to get loot when you're in a blob.  Everyone else rushes the wrecks and you invariably find them empty by the time you get there.

It is with these facts in mind that I present you with this kill report:
http://www.rotekapelle.com/killboard/?a=kill_detail&kll_id=69522


The Ishkur in question has not one, not two, but three mods that increase his scan resolution.  Because when you're in the blob, it's hard to lock targets fast enough to whore on kill reports.  That Inertia Stabilizer is critical for getting into warp quickly, because if you don't have it, the other 50 frigates in the gang get to the target first and you lose kill mails that way.  And of course, since this Ishkur is not going to get any loot, it's critical to fit that Salvager II so that you at least get some loot for your trouble.

The downside, of course, is that you might lose your 30 million ISK Ishkur with an Intact Armor Plate in the cargo hold, and have your triple scan-res mod ship made public to the world.  And of course, you might lose your Ishkur when you out-number a gang on a gate by 40 to three.  And sometimes you lose your Ishkur after some really terrible smack-talk and then you have that smack-talk thrown back in your face.  But that's how things go sometimes.

Go in peace.  Amen.

7 comments:

  1. You are maybe unfair with the little thing. Maybe his job is to tackle fast-aligning enemies and that's why it needs so much scan res.

    Also, while I agree with you on "polishing the sneaker", it applies to 1B Drakes and 10B Tengus and not on 30M ships. 30M is pocket change. If it's not for you, you shouldn't be using ANY PvP fit, you should be doing missions/ratting. Spending 30M on a camp in any form is like a movie ticket: payment for entertainment.

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  2. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
    I think that sums this up.

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  3. The fit could simply be to catch small ships jumping through a gate. Sure, you're better with an interceptor or other hull but this would have the scan res to be more than capable of catching fast frigates.

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    Replies
    1. That's exactly why its a hilarious killmail.

      Especially given the player's smack talk while flying this fit, I think Jester pretty much hit the nail on the head.

      Delete
  4. Hehe. Some people never learn. He should be banned to fly logistic ship with logistic drones only and no killmail whoring gun for at least month...

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    Replies
    1. One of the nice things that the RK killboards allows is the ability to attach scouts and logi on the kill mails. People want recognition for their contributions and this seems like a decent way of including them.

      Delete
  5. I'd like to take this opportunity to pay homage to Eve's king of all KM whores, Mr. Akjon Ferguson:

    http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/combat_record.php?type=player&name=AkJon+Ferguson#losses

    ReplyDelete

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