Welcome to Jester's Trek.
I'm your host, Jester. I've been an EVE Online player for about six years. One of my four mains is Ripard Teg, pictured at left. Sadly, I've succumbed to "bittervet" disease, but I'm wandering the New Eden landscape (and from time to time, the MMO landscape) in search of a cure.
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Thursday, July 25, 2013

Quote of the Week: Stop being poor

The sound you just heard was the Fountain war ending with a thud.

This is all pretty well based on hearsay at the moment, but both TEST and CFC sources are confirming that the logistics hangars of four TEST staging systems, notably Karan in Aridia and K-6K16 in Delve, have been robbed of some 130 billion ISK in POSes and POS mods, fuel, and sovereignty structures.  Here's the breakdown for those interested:
And here's the developing stories on both EN24 and TMC.  Typically, this kind of theft ends with the assets being sold to one side or another, but no word yet on who's going to buy.  The theft does seem to have taken the wind entirely out of TEST's sails.  All of their ops were cancelled today:
Hi friends,
We will not be forming for the coming timers which were posted as ops for today.
More information regarding 6VDT will be forthcoming soon, as well as a Military Update.
#### SENT BY Aerallo to All
The Mittani would remind us here that wars are not won by one big devastating blow, but by a pattern of misfortune sustained over a period of time.  TEST has certainly had that, between this theft, the loss of some two dozen systems, the apparent need to ask for donations to keep their war effort going, the splintering of their Fountain defense, and the reported loss of their Military Director.  That sure looks like a sustained pattern of misfortune to me.

The funniest thing about this theft was an associated quote, reported by the CFC:
Blawrf McTaggart > why'd you burn?
xxx > Nevver really fit in. just did stuff for the sense of doing it
xxx > straw that broke the camel's back was baki telling me to stop being poor
Blawrf McTaggart > hahahahaha
xxx > and they kicked chimeras out of slowcats
xxx > so i had nothing to do anymore
"baki" here is Baki Yuku of the TEST directorship.  The "xxx" is the logistics director responsible for the theft.  So broken down, Baki apparently got exasperated with this person for some reason, told him, "stop being poor", and the guy involved apparently said to himself... "OK."

Hee!  EVE is real.(tm)  Expect "Stop being poor." to be the dominant meme in EVE for the next few years.

Anyway, it's a pretty good bet that this morale-crushing blow is going to be the final straw that causes TEST to sue for peace.  Traditionally, Fountain has been the road to Delve with only a short delay between the conquering of the first and the invasion of the second.  But the Goons have no particular need that I'm aware of to drive TEST from sov space, so I would expect this war to officially wrap up very shortly.

Also, were Slocat Chimeras ever a thing?

I'll have more to say about this tomorrow, because the donation drive in particular was interesting to me.


  1. I knew TEST was gonna lose this war before that tragic fiasco with node crash.

    I'm not sure how should I feel about it. I couldn't even honestly and without a guilty concience cheer on any of the involved sides.

    I guess Goons are here to stay because nobody has any chance of directly challenging them now that TEST is brought to heel.

    See you in a month or two, when I will be watching, with lukewarm interest, as Goons dismantle N3 and pals.

  2. Well, Chimeras were slowcats for a brief while before Odyssey because they tanked almost as well as Archons. Apparently some people actually said that they might replace Archons.

  3. To be fair, "stop being poor" has been a running joke ever since the "How broke is TEST" GSF internal thread, which had this gem in it:

    Gentlemen, we've got so much to do tonight, let's take care of some vermin before they become an infestation. TALWARS AWAY!

    Fleet Name: Tally-Ho!
    FC: Arch Aengelus
    Doctrine: Talwars || Talwars > Talwars > Talwars > Electronic Attack Frigs > Frigs
    Comms: Battlecomms Fleet 4
    Reimbursible: No. Stop being poor.
    Purpose: FIGHT!
    Karan POS @ NOW

    #### SENT BY Zverofaust to All online allies @ 2013-06-18 23:14:50 EVE Time ####

    1. Interesting! Cute that it came back to bite 'em in the ass, then.

    2. Interesting too because TEST hands out talwars for free through their TEST_Free service. They're not always in stock due to demand sometimes but that's the key reason why TEST doesn't reimburse small ships.

  4. Here's a quote from the new mildir. I believe it's public, and it completely sums up the only problem with your post;

    "A smart alliance in our situation — 12,000 facing off against three times that number — would probably look for other options. But we are not a smart alliance. We’re TEST. This is what we do."

    Don't get me wrong. Fountain is lost. I'm pretty sure we've already lost the entire war. However, I wholly expect us to become a sovless alliance within the next few months, and I would be extremely surprised if any peace treaty was brokered with the CFC.

    Say what you like about the metagaming abilities of our leadership, but they've managed to instil the hate of the CFC deeply in many of their members. I don't think that dropping sov would cause TEST to failcascade, but I do think that explicitly surrendering to The Mittani might.

    So yeah. The Fountain war is over, but I think you're more likely to see TEST drop sov everywhere and moonwalk off to Poitot than you are to see them sue for peace.

    1. fountain is now Vichy france.

      Vive La Resistsnce!

  5. This. In three words, this is the attitude that drove me out of null.

    It's the attitude that null is the place to get rich, but you can't survive in null unless you're already rich. It's the attitude that if you aren't willing to use a three-billion-ISK deadspace-fit ratting platform, you don't have the right mindset for null. It's the view that if you aren't a big fish, you're basically just useful as chum. It's the attitude that the top dogs don't seem to understand the difference between front-line pilots and ammunition.

    And the worst part? It fits right in with the "EVE is real" mentality. Because there are too many places, too many situations out beyond Tranquility where the solution proposed by the haves to the have-nots is just that.

    "Don't be poor."

    I have to ask: when you stare at the launcher, password entered, but wonder if stepping into the community is worth it ... is that a sign of bittervet syndrome?

  6. I'm in tribal band, and I'm pretty sure test has imploded a little bit. They have canceled all there fleets, and local is very demure. No goon blockade on Karan yet, but it damn well looks like goonies have won this war. Pity, I joined it for summer, and was promised a war that would last to christmas.

  7. Too bad RHIS WAR seems to be winding up now IN SUCH SHORT ORDER unless TEST pulls A Wabbit outa thier arse. IMHO if CCP wants these type of wars annually they either have to axe moon goo for the mythical ring mining idea or every summer redo the moon goo botlenecks.

    ANYWAYZ: WTF is a "Slocat Chimera"?!?!? if I were a LOYAL TEST member I'd hunt this guy out of EVE for the next 3 years for causing a short end to a fun war. I hope they TESTies know this ahole's alts & chase them out too

  8. Since the start of the war you have been more on the Goon side, why?

    1. I haven't been "on the Goon side", I've been consistently reporting they would win. I can do that without being on their side. I'm not a fan of Hydra Reloaded but I can tell you why they're a strong tournament team, for instance.

      As for why Goons would win, a deep leadership team, superior discipline (particularly when things go badly), and most importantly, an enormous war chest and a stronger logistics focus. These things win wars.

    2. Yeah, and it's why I haven't found the "war" at all interesting. The conclusion was always foregone, and it was never going to be reached by fighting in space.

      I'm happy to be proven wrong, but I don't think I will be. *shrug*

    3. "As for why Goons would win, a deep leadership team, superior discipline (particularly when things go badly), and most importantly, an enormous war chest and a stronger logistics focus. These things win wars."

      Not to mention approximately 24,000 more pilots, hm?

  9. Thanks for the response in the previous article by the way..

    Relevant to your topic:

    posted in kugu

  10. So if "xxx" didn't fly his shitfit "slowcat chimera" and actually flew a decent slocat the Fountain war could have dragged out to a near stalemate. WoW he was the weakest link lol

  11. Dinsdale PirannhaJuly 26, 2013 at 8:19 AM

    And the blue blanket envelopes Eve once again within a few days, and CFC can get back to happily RMT'ing, with the largest stranglehold ever seen in the game (on TQ at least) of the T2 raw material market.

    In addition, they will have the other gift that keeps on giving, that being the huge shift of wealth from high sec to null sec with the appropriation of at least 20% of the ice market courtesy of soundwave and fozzie.

    Can't wait until phase one of forcing all T2 mfg to null sec kicks in with the December release.

    goons examined the Chinese server business model, and have decided they model their RMT machine in the same form as best they can.

  12. "I'll have more to say about this tomorrow, because the donation drive in particular was interesting to me."

    This sounds a bit belated to me, so just making sure you are aware of http://greedygoblin.blogspot.de/2013/07/beyond-my-wildest-dreams.html

  13. Sounds like EvE's equivalent of the BATTLE OF STALINGRAD will be this weekend...
    Will TEST's Uncle Joe stave off Goon's Fuher or will The Axis reverse the tide?
    If you want to take part in EvE history I suggest storming the Enemy at the Gates this Sunday/Saturday in 6VDT-H or at least check it out in the streams ( Has MAD ANI staked out his cloaky ALTs yet? )...

    ===========TEST Announcement:=====================
    6VDT-H – July 28, 19:44 Eve

    If this update were posted a day ago, this is where I’d tell you about the longer term plan, the orders I’ve given to our FCs to run regular ops in EU and US timezones, how we would respond to the CFC’s recent gains and the plan for pushing them back. But we’ve got a more immediate concern. On Sunday, right in the middle of EU and US timezones, the 6VDT station exist shield reinforce. I don’t have to tell you the significance of this station. You can be sure the CFC knows it too.

    Here’s the game plan. We’re forming and under no circumstances are we standing down. If we are outnumbered 50:1, still we’re going in. We’ve been told that forming for this timer is stupid, that this is exactly what the CFC wants us to do, that we are—to turn a phrase—exactly where they want us.

    A smart alliance in our situation—12,000 facing off against three times that number—would probably look for other options. But we are not a smart alliance. We’re TEST. This is what we do.

    Get your prophecies, your ahacs, and your armor logi ready to go. Newbros, polish up your blackbirds and your celestes. Duders with special ships, check your respective channels. And get ready for a big goddamn brawl.

  14. I am really, really considering to donate to test a few billion isk and start collecting, just to keep them motivated.


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