Welcome to Jester's Trek.
I'm your host, Jester. I've been an EVE Online player for about six years. One of my four mains is Ripard Teg, pictured at left. Sadly, I've succumbed to "bittervet" disease, but I'm wandering the New Eden landscape (and from time to time, the MMO landscape) in search of a cure.
You can follow along, if you want...

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Special Edition Assets

If you don't know what the title of this blog post means, just bookmark this post and come back to it later, after the official holiday plans have been announced.

This post was published two weeks before these assets were publicly given out as the second set of Holiday gifts in 2012.  The previous spoiler warning on this post is now OFF.

The secret seems to be out, so I thought I'd explain the "Special Edition Assets" for those of you that haven't been playing EVE Online for very long.  At the bottom of the market, you're going to find a new category: Special Edition Assets.  Underneath that, you're going to find several categories of items.  Under "Special Edition Apparel" and "Special Edition Commodities", you'll find the items below.

I'm not 100% sure of all of my explanations, but I'm sure for the ones where I'm off, someone will let us all know straight-away...

boots.ini: This is a reference to a badly failed EVE Trinity patch that corrupted the Windows boot.ini of some players.

*Sneaks in a classic*: I'm pretty sure this is a reference to this series of comics, which was indisputably awesome.  If it's not referencing these comics, then it should be.  ;-)

A Big Red Button: Surprisingly, this isn't a reference to the Alliance Tournament button in question.  Once, there was a dev named CCP Tuxford.  He is now an entry in the Urban Dictionary.  The entry explains why.

A Handful of Tiny Stars: See below, under A Tiny Monolith.

A Tank of Honor: at one time, carriers and dreads were actually used to carry things to 0.0 in their cargo holds.  Both had particularly large cargo holds.  So people started rigging them with Cargohold Expanders.  This was referred to as "honor tanking."  The term itself actually started with a Nightmare, though...

Animal Medical Expert: It's a rebus.  "He tastes rather sour," the description of this item says in game.  An "animal medical expert" is a veternarian, or a vet.  Something that "tastes rather sour" is bitter.  See the intro text at the top of this blog.

Concordokken: I think the following video will help you understand this one.

Donut Holder: Two behind this one.  For a while, if you tried to switch ships too quickly after docking and were still under a session change timer, the game would tell you that you couldn't do that because "it was looking for a place to put all your donuts."  But there's also this thread.  Read it, then read down to post number four.  Thanks to an Anonymous commenter for reminding me of the first one!

Key Pass to Open the Door: In your Captain's Quarters, right now, is The Door.  Have you ever tried to open it?  Do.

Little Helper, Female: This is a reference to the fact that many, many, many EVE players carry one unit of Exotic Dancers in their cargo.  I've written about this on the blog before: it's just a way to make your kill-mail more amusing.

Little Helper, Male: Same thing for (if you're a traditionalist) the ladies.  Assuming there were any women playing EVE.  Which there are not.  So it's a hidden meme in and of itself for that reason.

Magic Crystal Ball: You are visiting the magic crystal ball right now, natch.

Military Experts and You: This one is a reference to the line "Military experts are calling this a cynosural field!" from the Quantum Rise trailer in late 2008.  It's an EVE meme to this day.

Model of a Fighter: At one time, on top of the EVE Online Forum website, there was a picture of a Templar.  Forum postings asking "What type of ship is that?" were everywhere and constant.

New Eden Soundbox: "EVE has sound?" has been a running joke since before I've been playing EVE.  It's really only just been fixed with Retribution, actually...

Postcard for Poitot: You are required, when passing through Poitot in Syndicate, to declare on comms "Do you guys know that this is the only named system in Syndicate?"  Required, I say!  Rote Kapelle's motto at Fanfest 2011 was #occupypoitot.

Public Portrait: How To: This one, surprisingly, is explained right in the item description.  Here's the forum thread that started it, but the chin of course is no more.  But here's the chin in question if you want your own copy of it.

Replica Gallente Cruiser: Didja ever notice how the Thorax looks kinda like a sex toy?  Therefore, if you have such a sex toy -- particularly if it's green -- you have a replica Gallente cruiser.

Rules of Engagement: This is an amusing little reference to Curatores Veritatis Alliance, who are a famously "NRDS" role-playing alliance.  The problem is that as non-role-playing EVE players shoot them, their red list gets longer and longer and longer...  I hear they need a search engine for their red list now.

Scotty the Docking Manager's Clone: Used to be whenever you tried to perform certain actions -- dropping out of a ship and into a clone, for instance -- while docked and under a session change timer, you'd get a message saying that Scotty the Docking Manager was working on it.

Ship Fitting Guide: Once upon a time there was a Raven pilot doing his first ever Level 4 mission solo.  He was having a lot of trouble with it, and it killed him.  He begged for help and suggestions.  People asked him what his fit was.  He replied with what is in this item.  Can't imagine why that fit would give him trouble in L4 missions.

Shuttle Piloting for Dummies: At one time, shuttles could lock targets.  And could be assigned fighters.  And therefore could warp on grid and attack things by ordering their assigned fighters to engage targets.  Even more amusing, often people would forget to add shuttles to their Overview, so you'd start taking a lot of damage and couldn't figure out from where...

The Mini Monolith: I'm reasonably certain this is a reference to the monolith that exists in the Dead End system.  If you haven't seen it, it's well worth traveling out there and taking a look.  And it is full of tiny stars.  But you can't refine it.  But this is the one I'm least confident about.

Unit of Lag: For a while, CCP had a page they were updating on their "War on Lag".  This specific reference?  I have a memory of a CCP developer making an amusing reference to measuring lag in a specific unit, and I'm pretty sure it was the sublime CCP Veritas that did it during one of his presentations on Time Dilation.  I just can't find the specific reference.  Anyone want to help me out?

If you have corrections for any of the items above, please send them along and I'll update this post accordingly.  Special thanks to my alliance mate Ben Booley, who helped with background for some items!


  1. Donuts holder could also be a reference to a message you could get with session timers and pods, telling you to wait while they found room for the donuts

    1. Now that you mention it, I do remember that message. Thanks!

  2. "Honor tank" - if I remember, that came to be thanks to some guy who took a Nightmare through the fbeeping Aunenen pipe, got melted by a Nyx, hopped into a cargo-fit Revelation, Leeroyed right back into the Nyx's engagement envelope without bothering to refit for combat, and spent the next hour or so screaming deprecations at his alliance-mates for not backing him up from the far end of Fountain space.

    I think the term came about because he kept howling about defending his honor, and someone in the forums decided that he apparently had so much honor that he couldn't fit it all into his dread without the cargo expanders...

    ...ah, here's the link: http://www.eve-tribune.com/index.php?no=2_36&page=7

    Sadly, though, I think he's already lost the title of "stupidest pilot in EVE" several times over, judging from recent KOTW's.

  3. Sorry, didn't realize the link was already posted. That'll teach me to post without coffee...

  4. I think that CCP should be giving out remaps this year for the holiday gift.

    First, they tell everyone to hurry up and train up Dessies and BCs, before the skills get split into racial versions. This means that you had to remap to Per/Wil (unless you were already mapped to Per/Wil or are using a more balanced mapping), esp. if you want to guarantee to get those skills to 5 before the unspecified deadline.

    Next, they introduce the new sensor compensation skills, which happen to be Int/Mem skills. So, another remap to Int/Mem (unless you have the aforementioned balanced mapping) or keep the Per/Wil mappinig and suffer with suboptimal training, which is just a waste of RL time.

    I suppose that you could argue that all of these skills - Dessies, BCs, sensor compensation - are optional, but, really, they aren't.

    1. I'll agree with this.

      I had to use a remap to switch to P/W training, only because stupid CCP said they were going to make this change to the destroyer and battlecruiser skills "soon", but can't seem to tell us exactly when this is going to happen.

      Note to CCP - "sometime next year" isn't an answer.

      And, I'll have to use another remap after to switch back to my original skill plan. This just sucks.

      I want two remaps, not just one.

    2. Didn't even use to be remaps. What you had was what you got. and the sensor skills are rank 2. You lose 10 hours. Deal with it!

  5. While you orbit the monolith, your attribute implants will get a +1 bonus, so +5 becomes +6. But, only as long as you stay in orbit. Also, the monolith acts as an one-time, free remap station.

    1. C'mon... this is a troll... right?

    2. As the pseudo-expert on the subject, I'm gonna go with 'troll' on this one.

    3. ...and a pretty darn good one at that!

    4. I dunno... makes sense, if you figure that someone at CCP must be a fan of 2001 and/or 2010. It fits the idea of the monolith.

      It's also in a weird place - not highsec, nor null - so it isn't usually visited by carebears and can't be sov'ed.

      Worth a look - I could use a remap. :)

  6. CVA has a whole website for years dedicated to searching pilots/corps/alliances to see if they have ever had any aggression against CVA or the holders. Getting off the KOS website involved a lot of diplomacy and groveling from what I hear, but is was very useful to us holders to see if that neutral in local was a tourist or invader.

    Also, I was in the same corp as Scius when that Honour tanking incident went down. I logged in mere minutes after it happened and I was told in corp not to talk in alliance chat because "they are REALLY mad at us!!" Hilarious!

  7. I stumbled across this yesterday as I was scrolling through the markets. I was confused as to what the hell it all meant. Thanks for clearing some of that up (even if there are inaccuracies). ;)

  8. Shuttles can still lock targets, by the way.

  9. I'm a little surprised you didn't mention the Magic Crystal Ball. It allows you to see the future, but only if you have the ability to use Polaris, which only CCP can use, so only CCP can see the future, and do it badly if the description is any indication.

  10. So they put this fluff in to go along with all the other fluffy items already in the game. They expand the item identifiers to 64 bits (!!!1!1!!11) not long ago. And yet there is a new stealth nerf that limits the number of items that can be in a corp hangar (pos or ship) to 1,000 items.

  11. It may be a case of "sour animal medical expert" but I seem to remember poor old Tux was trying to restart his own personal server at home remotely via command line rather than the test server ... But that's down to whomever wrote the Urban Dictionary entry.

    Even more amusing was the fact on Wednesday they left the warning timer in place for an 09:00 reboot (which did't happen) and other devs thought it was Tuxford again.

  12. Jester, I think you got one wrong...
    There is a high propability that *Sneaks in a classic* is connected to the following thread:

    But I'm not soundwave, so what d I know ;)

  13. Nice history lesson--thanks, Jester et al.

    These items aren't aren't all in the marketplace just as jokes or Easter eggs, are they?

    [checks calendar: nope, April 1st is months away]

    With Team Avatar said to be bringing us some new things, and a "Special Edition" on its way at some point that offers a path toward opening the door, should I believe that we'll see an incremental step toward WiS in the new year?

    If I'm being trolled, it's at least a subtle troll, and that's my favorite flavor.

  14. For us magic crystal ball users, there's actually two things in at the "Key Pass to Open the Door". Likely that item will never be found on the server and what will drop/be redeemed is the blueprint copy to that item. Well, you can see the item info as the result of the manufacturing job... except that manufacturing that requires Villard Wheels.

    Villard Wheels, in turn, where an item referenced in one of the old versions of the industrial rookie 10-mission arc, quoting the horribly outdated (unofficial) EVE-wiki: "The Villard Wheel exists only in theory. It is the Material component required for the manufacture of a Tech 1 Perpetual Motion Machine, in the Balancing the Books mission series. You cannot buy, find, or make Villard Wheels -- the aim of the mission is not to make the T1 machine, but to research a T2 blueprint, and then make that (which does not require the wheels)."

    Since people don't read mission descriptions, a lot of people asked the rookie help, newbie corp channels etc. on where they can get Villard Wheels. Eventually, someone created this character: https://gate.eveonline.com/Profile/Villard%20Wheels

  15. I feel like you should mention that the reason why the Raven fit became a meme was not because of the fit itself (after all, shitfits are horridly common), but because, as I recall, the player ended up posting "MY RAVEN WAS FITTED WITH" etc etc many, MANY times.

    And apparently it was his son having fun with the copy paste.

  16. The Mini Monolith may be a reference to the monolith in Dead End, but that is in turn a reference to the monolith in the film (and novella) 2001: A Space Odyssey. When the protagonist Dave Bowman goes out in a pod to investigate it, he gets sucked into it, and the last thing he says before disappearing is "My God, it's full of stars!"


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