As we wait for the CSM December Summit minutes -- most of them are now in CCP's hands being approved -- I thought it would be fun to compare the current CSM to Game of Thrones characters. Some very minor GoT spoilers might be found below, though I tried to keep it to a minimum...
(And please keep in mind that I like and respect a lot of these people. This is all in good fun. ;-) )
The Mittani: King Aerys Targaryen, "the Mad King". He's dead now. He went completely insane at some point before our story begins. He was murdered by Jamie Lannister, "the Kingslayer" (CCP Xhagen, in a guest role). After his death, was replaced by...
Seleene: King Robert Baratheon, "the Usurper." He's King of Westeros, not that you can tell. Relies on the members of the Small Council to do all the actual work. When anything of any importance happens, he's usually off in the forest somewhere instead of dealing with it. He occasionally turns up and reminisces about the past... but that's about all he's good for. You'd think he'd just abdicate, but no. He's the King, damn it, as he'll remind you when the subject comes up. But he's getting progressively slower and more remote as time goes on. Everyone else is pretty much waiting for him to keel over, particularly...
Two step: Renly Baratheon, member of the Small Council. "Hey guys! Look at me: I smell terrific! I mean, look at me: I look like a king, right? I've got the shiny hat! I've got the cool clothes and a big sword, and lots of people willing to do my bidding. Obviously, I must be king. What do you mean I need more experience? What do you mean, I've got to show actual leadership qualities first? What do you mean, kings have to listen to the unwashed masses? Kings tell other people what to think. Why is it getting so dark in this tent all of a sudden?"
Hans Jagerblitzen: Petyr Baelish, Master of Coin, member of the Small Council. One of the smartest, most publicly pleasant guys around. He's going a long way toward keeping the whole thing running. As a result, he's serving the same function for the king that a lamp-post serves for a drunk. He knows everything that's going on and to his credit, keeps the secrets of the realm. He could pull the whole mess down around everyone's ears whenever he wanted to but doesn't do that, either. Instead, sticks to running things behind the scenes. But as a result, he's in real danger of being perceived as a cynic. Probably realizes that he has neither the power nor the inclination to ascend to the throne himself but honestly, who would want that?
Trebor Daehdoow: Tyrion Lannister. He's the true cynic of the group, built up only after years of experience of being looked down upon by "better people." Eventually gets suckered into doing most of the work -- which he does quite well! -- but often gets little to none of the credit for doing it. Operates by his own code of honor and looks upon the work of most of the others with a quiet resigned amusement. Is one of the few people that would actually be comfortable sitting on the Iron Throne but will almost certainly never win it.
Alekseyev Karrde: Stannis Baratheon, member of the Small Council. Honorable, smart, hard-working. And pisses off many of the people around him to the point where they can hardly stand to be around the guy. Brooding and humorless, he has a mercurial temper that can flare at the slightest provocation. Would cut off the fingers of his closest ally if honor demanded it. Serves some kind of heathen god that nobody else understands, and sometimes issues demands at the whim of that god, ignoring input from others. Acts like the king, but it's kind of important for a king to be at least semi-likable.
Issler Dainze: Cersei Lannister. Sort of living proof that some people who desire power shouldn't be given it under any circumstances. She's easily angered, lashes out at perceived enemies -- real or not -- and holds grudges. Oh my, does she hold them. Treats her allies and her enemies with equal scorn. There aren't a lot of people who care to spend too much time in her presence.(1)
Meissa Anunthiel: Lyssa Stark. She's dead now, and under very mysterious circumstances. She was important to some of our key players a long time ago, particularly the King and the Hand, and might have been important to the story once. But today? You can safely ignore references to her.
Elise Randolph: Lord Varys, Master of Whisperers, member of the Small Council. Probably the smartest of the players involved, but keeps his own counsel. Represents an organization whose major industry is spying on others. He knows where all the bodies are buried, and might even use that information to get ahead if that was his aim. He's a master of disguise, and can change his appearance to match his needs. Few of the other players care for him much, and the feeling seems to be mutual... but you're not sure. Definitely has his own agenda, but that agenda appears to have limited scope in areas where he's an expert. Otherwise he's invisible... until he appears right behind you.
Greene Lee: Walder Frey. He's operating under the impression that just because you represent a lot of people, that alone makes you important. A member of a power base that should be a lot more careful about their actions because they're... you know... surrounded by hostiles. As his power base crumbles, you can safely ignore him unless you cross him somehow.
Kelduum Revaan: Eddard Stark, Hand of the King, member of the Small Council. Honorable and hard-working for the causes he thinks are just, he came to King's Landing with a specific agenda. Which has failed, partially due to his own missteps, partially due to the machinations of those around him. Everyone seems to respect his past history, but nobody seems to respect his goals. Chances are pretty damn good that's gonna cost him his head...
UAxDEATH: Sandor Clegane, "the Hound". Taciturn and brutal, but not without compassion. He's a man of few words, and few sympathies to those whose situation is not like his own. But very few have cause to deal with him, and he goes out of his way not to deal with others. Occasionally indulges in self-destructive behavior.
Dovinian: Edmure Tully. On paper, he represents an important, respected faction in the realm. But he represents that power because there was nobody better around to do it instead. As a result, few within his own faction respect him, so he doesn't command anything like the amount of power he probably should. He stays quietly in the background and few worry about what he thinks. Those few actions he does take are often rash or impulsive.
Darius III: Theon Greyjoy. Callow, arrogant, and always smiling whether he has reason to or not. Receives only mockery and scorn from all sides... and with good reason. Ignores advice and does whatever he wants to do, ignoring the effect on others. His only real actions are stupidly destructive to no real purpose. You kind of hope he'll get flayed.
One more time, consider this a written political cartoon, not my true feelings about anyone involved. But it was fun to think about and write. ;-)
(1) Don't take the GoT character reference farther than this, because the analogy stops working.