Welcome to Jester's Trek.
I'm your host, Jester. I've been an EVE Online player for about six years. One of my four mains is Ripard Teg, pictured at left. Sadly, I've succumbed to "bittervet" disease, but I'm wandering the New Eden landscape (and from time to time, the MMO landscape) in search of a cure.
You can follow along, if you want...

Monday, September 30, 2013

September junk drawer

Welcome to the junk drawer, part of a series of monthly posts in which I dump all the stuff that I couldn't develop into full blog posts this past month.  September was so busy that the junk drawer really only has a bunch of small stuff plus two somewhat bigger items in it.


Here's the small stuff, one paragraph per item:

Here's a quickie from Ory iXo that should have made it into the little things list, but didn't: right click on ship while docked, insure ship.  It's probably complicated for some reason I don't understand but it should be thrown on the next little things list anyway.  ;-)  Thanks, Ory!

This made me smile, EVE ships in the traditional colors of various U.S. football teams.  Just the sort of thing I think of when I see CCP Seagull write (emphasis mine)...
...Imagine capsuleer corporations, rising in power and capabilities, flying their own colors...
Don't you agree?

How is it that I've never read the Wikipedia entry for the word Naglfar before?  Go read it and glory in how weird Norse mythology is.  ;-)  How does someone even think of that?  Iceland is weird, et cetera.

There's a Skype channel open to both CCP developers and CSM alumni that's kind of fun to watch sometimes.  This past month, someone asked in there how evil an EVE developer could be in trolling players.  Here's the response, which made me laugh.  Just something to keep in mind: EVE players have nothing on EVE developers for pure evil.

After long years writing for the Star Trek franchise, when Ron Moore got the reboot for Battlestar Galactica green-lit and became the show-runner, he specifically wrote a scene in the early episodes of the series that took place in a lavatory.  Joking about Star Trek's apparent lack of lavatories and making possibly the worst pun in the history of sci-fi, he joked that BSG was "going where no one had gone before."(1)  Well, it turns out Star Citizen is apparently following Ron's fine example...


It wasn't quite quote of the week material but this forum thread contains a rather intriguing... well, plea, I guess.  I'm not sure if it was aimed at CCP or the CSM, but Leigh Akiga was asking "what must be done to generate conflict in 0.0 once again?"  Malcanis -- quite easily the meanest member of CSM8 -- absolutely destroyed the question by pointing out that large sov wars are both extremely expensive and hard to organize logistically before adding with not a small amount of snark:
Meanwhile, how about you make a massive resource and time investment in giving us something to read about?
The discussion then continues from there and is actually surprisingly insightful for a thread that's -- you know -- on the EVE Online forums.

The only reason this thread didn't become a full post around here is that the null-sec alliances, counter-alliances, and relationships have become so intertwined and convoluted that I'm not even sure what I think about null-sec right now.  Later in the thread, Malcanis correctly stated...
Space that can be rented is the new Technetium.
And as I pointed out earlier in the month, renting space is something that scales quite easily.  Goonswarm spent the past month or so proving it by taking over literally half the map and preparing their rental empire.

Go read the thread because I found the back and forth really interesting.  People playing this game say "fix null-sec!" all the time... but at this point I don't even know what that means any more.  All I know is that I'd kind of like the map to look like Scalding Pass and Wicked Creek... but increasingly it looks like Deklein and Vale of the Silent instead.


I caught a hell of a lot of heat in late 2011 for describing Clarion Call 3 as -- here, let me look it up -- as...
...garbage.  It is arrogant, windy, over-hyped, under-edited, over-narrated, hugely over-long, and other than nine minutes late in the proceedings that actually shows a fight, it is dull dull dull dull dull.
With this in mind, I refer you to Lord Maldoror's latest windy, over-blown masterpiece.  Your first view of a spaceship in a six minute video is more than three and a half minutes in... and it's a titan.  At least the guy's sticking to form.

I'm reminded of the frequent joke made regarding the Final Fantasy video games, made most cuttingly by Yahtzee from time to time: "Why can't gamers see that we want to make movies, not video games?!"  Likewise, I'm pretty sure Lord Maldoror wants to make art-house films, not play EVE Online.


And that's all for the junk drawer this month.

(1) This is the same man that wrote the following exchange in an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine:
"Lions and Geigers and bears."
"Oh my."
He therefore has also written the worst word-play in the history of sci-fi, too.


  1. Fixing null-sec ought to mean that holding territory gets progressively harder with size, with player numbers deemphasized to some proper degree. It lets the gangs take a system here and there and hold it, but keeps the large sov turf in flux (again to some proper degree). It would allow a largish coalition to carve out some Goon territory and not have it taken back immediately.

    These features could be fine-tuned to produce just the right amount of chaos to keep monopoly from inevitability, to keep sov war interesting enough that financing it drives other careers. Make it something that players *want* to go broke doing, and make it reward smart, organized play, too. The important thing is that the largest coalitions be destabilized a bit in their holdings even as the smaller alliances' power grabs are enabled to an extent.

    Then you got game. But how could these things be accomplished?

    1. Short answer, it can't be accomplished any more.

      Long answer. Because coalitions are a thing now. Because power projection is too powerful. Because of super capital proliferation. Because of the meta game. Because the average age of an Eve character is large enough now that everyone is at their own personal "End Game".

  2. not sure where this comment really goes. But while getting SOE ships is nice and the art looks good, why a frigate and a cruiser when a destroyer and a battlecruiser when have been just so much more "oooohhhh shiney!!!"

  3. What is an article on ship skins w/o a pic of the Hello Kitty Scorpian? http://dl.eve-files.com/media/1202/20120209023127.jpg

  4. I find your disdain for Maldoror videos confusing. Yes, they're "dull" and it takes them a long time to get to combat, and there's little of it when they do... because that's not their focus. They're basically CCP's Stories From the First Decade in a video form. They're about telling a short story from the game, and what makes them interesting is that said story was pure emergent narrative - no one scripted or directed it. Watching the videos and complaining about lack of combat is like watching a Brood War replay and complaining about lack of storyline.

  5. Be careful with that "literally", Jester. 'Half the map' by area, but only about quarter by system count. PL and NCdot combined easily have far more space than the CFC controls.

  6. >...garbage. It is arrogant, windy, over-hyped, under-edited, over-narrated, hugely over-long, and other than nine minutes late in the proceedings that actually shows a fight, it is dull dull dull dull dull.

    I take it you're into Michael Bay films?

    You're implying that every EVE video should be the same, that is, show more combat than anything else?

    There's a good amount of irony in this opinion as many of the same things could be said about your blog by people who don't like it. Why don't you only post BRs, KMs and fight videos Jester? dull dull dull


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